Recursion of Satisfaction

The young shitty kid grew up, and his mind started to be built up, the brain is developing, hope as well. He begins with the first need of a lollipop to require more sophisticated shit, fuck endorphins, fuck serotonin, fuck oxytocin, and FUCK you dopamine.

I lurked my early life in random places. I never knew what I really liked. There is always that warm place that you get anxious from the fear of messing it. In 9th grade, I started my stabilizing [laughs in pain] process. I started my first loop; I found that high school for eXcElLiNg sTuDeNts, which seemed an exciting opportunity, and fuck me, it was the start of my mind’s otherworldly state of infinite dilemma. I’m the perfectionist who never reaches perfection, seeking stability is my aim, or I thought it is. Luck has been in my side a lot of times, starting with the bypass of this trashy school’s application exam, I thought that I’d found my way to the route of happiness, turned out that it was the first ring getting tossed in my game. Sadly, the main loop didn’t halt, so the game is still on.

Then, I found lots of possible passages, each opens up new opportunities. If anyone finds a pathway that gets his interest, he’ll more likely stick and involve in it. Still, for me, any new option is an intriguing one that fires up my curiosity. I’m a man who lacks consistent continuation, so I’ll immediately start to throw a new ring trying to beat boredom. Still, the unfortunate truth was that I never got out of the loop. I just started screwing up my brain by filling its memory bac@!%# [loud overflow noises].

Starting with a tiny sip of hope from life’s dick, I immediately wanted more. I always wanted satisfaction. I liked the loop’s condition to be !met, but I actually never really knew what I wanted. The dick never satisfied me. I always had faith that I could do better, dicks are never good enough to satisfy, and despite how hard I deep-throated, the real sensation of contentment was never there. I always wanted the dick that will take my whole time and stamina to stop the loop. Still, I just kept on changing old dicks with new dicks that always seemed to be the expiation, but they were never enough. What kind of dick I want? How does it look? I never knew, and maybe I’ll die before discerning that dick.

I wanted high school, I got the high school, I got bored with it. I wanted Social life. I got a pretty brilliant social life, but fuck it, let me rest in peace. I found a dream that people maximize their glory, I achieved it, but I don’t even want it anymore. I have a new dream rn. I may achieve it, but I know that it won’t be enough. Despite how satisfactory it seems for me now, I’ll never be happy with it for even a second always wanted more, I deserve more.