Redpilled

This should have been a post talking about how I created a competitive programming & CTF competition from nothing to completeness in five days. Maybe it should have been about the absolute shitty performance we had in the regional ACM competition. There is also that weird bacterial infection that hit me before leaving the competition and still ongoing. It took the world biological and psychological attacks demonstrated in that severe sickness and ACPC heartbreak, accompanied by having one or two unorganized professors who have zero understanding for their material, adding to that the world cup and its sad conclusion, all coming at me on finals' weeks, to stop my 4.0 streak. Joke on you world I have stopped caring a while ago.

It is apparent that it was not a good month. It also did not stop there. I have just discovered that taking screenshots with anbox apps running in different tab in DWM induces screenshot alarm in the anbox. Let's say I have to explain to lots of people why they are getting notifications of me screenshotting them for months in BeReal and SnapChat and maybe some other apps that I have ran containerized. TL;DR: Weird shit is still happening and my version of 2022 wrapped would be a killer.

This quarter was supposed to be the most peaceful one; low university workload, almost no attendance required, took my favourite course in uni till now (Modern Algebra with Dr. Daoud Siniora, love u prof. xoxo). This is also accompanied by being in a single room rather than the usual double with exchange students who mostly do not speak Arabic. Also, I have finally launched Open Source Community in our university, trying to advocate a bit for the standards I hold.

Still, I have no idea what went wrong. The semester was full of severe ups and downs that my head is too scrambled to analyze or comprehend. Apparently the light at the end of the tunnel is just some guy burning. Yeah, everything seems so bleak. However, one silver lining in all of this trash is that this misery is apparently some flu that caught everyone. All people are struggling with their own shit. Maybe we can all just sit around and commiserate about how miserable our lives are, would be a fun group activity.

And let's not forget about the joys of finals week. It's the perfect time to pull all-nighters, drink copious amounts of caffeine, smoke uncountably infinite amount of cigarettes, and completely neglect your living self in the pursuit of flawed perfection. It's like a special kind of torture, for some reason people think they must do that bullshit and suddenly everyone is doing it. I really do not understand how we arrived here, but this utter exhaustion needs to be halted.

However, I am too lazy to complete writing this post, trying to save up for the 2022 wrapped (in case I did not get into a severe depression episode), thus, I will give what I wrote till now to an AI and let it complete to show you that AI can be capable of everything but not write like me.

*The worst part is that it feels like everything is out of my control. I can't seem to catch a break no matter what I do. I try my best to stay positive and keep moving forward, but it feels like the universe is conspiring against me. Every time I think things are starting to look up, something else goes wrong. It's hard to keep going when everything feels so hopeless.

I don't know how much longer I can keep going like this. Every day feels like a struggle and I'm constantly battling against overwhelming feelings of sadness and despair. It's hard to find any joy or happiness in anything anymore. I just want to curl up and hide away from the world, but I know that's not a solution. I don't know how to escape this darkness and find my way back to the light.

But in all seriousness, it's important to find healthy ways to cope with difficult emotions and challenges. It's okay to take time to process and cope with the tough times, but it's also important to try to find balance and find ways to find joy and meaning in life. It's okay to seek support from others and to take care of yourself during difficult times. Remember to be kind to yourself and to practice self-care as you navigate the ups and downs of life.*