Broken Glasses

I have been a person gifted with magnificent eyesight until recently. I used to be able to look at any person or situation and instantly determine each and every tiny detail related to them. I had an extreme cluster headache that I thought may be caused by an issue related to my eyes. Thus, I decided to go get them checked. I was aghast at the words of the optometrist saying that both of my eyes had malfunctioned. Quickly, I adapted and accepted the news and went to get new glasses. The first moments wearing my new glasses, I was again shocked by how weird I was experiencing the world. Everything seemed more apparent but in a noticeable way different. Things are scaled vertically in a way I could not comprehend, leading to multiple minor accidents (I almost faced three harassment cases). The new way of seeing everything got me wondering, have I, after all, always been seeing the wrong picture?

[لما عدى البرق]

I have always admired my exquisite eyesight, which made me superior to the majority of human beings. Within a look, I get to read a person's emotions or spot an object's error. While I rarely say it explicitly, I believe that I am always more conscious about the person whom I am dealing with more than he is about me. This could be understood that I am at least as smart as anyone, but even though this may be true to an extremely high percentage, this is not what I meant. Consciousness and awareness are on a different basis of intellect than the regular interpretation of the word smart. I can easily list some people who are smarter than me in specific academic, non-academic or even motor-powered fields. Still, in any one-on-one discussion, there is an underlying, invisible, implicit, and incomprehensible conscious battle that I never lose. What is currently unfortunate is that I have found out that my eyes may have created a facade that led them to beat me in that battle. Have I lost to my own eyes? Is it the time to accept defeat to a device I have trusted every moment of my life? This defeat would make me question each and every minor detail I have faced. Have I ever been the person I thought I was? The battles I won, blood I have spilled, bloodsheds I committed, can all of those be some misinterpretations? To be honest, I have felt a slight mistrust to those couple of evil devices on multiple occasions. Despite that, I have ignored them, and that was an incredibly ignorant decision to overlook such an important detail.

[بسوق بليل كل حارة بسوق بليل كل شارع غامض]

I believe a significant reason behind that loss was how I handled my interactions. Whenever they fetch me any information, I analyze them, and based on that analysis, I decide the direction of the future of that interaction. This direction holds its consistency until a reformation to the original fetched information has occurred. This can be easily explicitly seen in how I interact with people. The initial eye contact decides a longitude of chained future ones. That only changes once a transformation is detected. That transformation could occur in numerous forms; newly developed traits, revealing previously hidden details, getting new pair of glasses, or generally any character development regardless of its magnitude. Once a transformation is identified, the person reenters the cycle of analysis, and the direction of the vector is modified. However, in the majority of cases, such a variation is negligible. While this way proved its paramount efficiency by getting me off toxic relationships, debugging codes' errors, and changing my fetishes frequently. However, a significant defect that arises is that this all depends on analysis from my perspective. Hold on. I do not in any way mean that my perspective is flawed; the intuitive analysis wrought by my brain is immaculate. The defect was regarding a different manner, relying on my eyes. What a person sees is usually rarely descriptive of what is happening behind the shades. A powerful skill I acquired was seeing behind the shades, literally and figuratively. My eyes did not affect that skill as it relied on other devices they had no access to. What they could do was deform the external representation of the facts. While they are still the same in their essence, what changes is the severity or the magnitude of specific attributes. I have overtrusted the templates that may not have been enoughly stress tested. In some particular situations, malfunctions in such templates would expose me to unexpected behaviors that may lead to breaking a large portion of the analysis that is responsible directly for the direction of a couple of future vectors. I may have created malfunctioned characters or representations of a wide spectrum of objects. I may have committed things that I should not have done. I may have trusted people who I should not have trusted. I may have performed unundoable acts that have affected me till now. Fortunately, the way my system works is that whenever such an error is detected, an easy transformation is applied to each and every previously committed analysis. Though, some of them can not be fixed, but I can at least admit these flaws.

[بلا حظ بلا ضربة برق مشفتش حد]

Update: Actually, I have just been to the shitty doctor who previously diagnosed my eyes to find out that he has not given me the right prescription. My eyes have never wronged me. Every person who I analyzed as a piece of shit is still a piece of shit. Every person who I have considered hot is still hot. Each drop of blood I spilled was a must. Every emotion, person, and character that I mutilated deserved it. You all are still pieces of shit who I would have preferred if you did not exist. I still want to kill myself. Every piece of ambition that was created was pathetic. I will still kill myself, maybe now or then, but it is still inevitable. Fortunately, every transformation I perform has a polynomial way of constructing its inverse. The only things that may have been highlighted and are to be considered are how I interact with my own attached devices. I need to check them frequently, and their trust should be limited. But you? You can fuck off.

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