The Rewind?

How is it being "Tokhy"?

It was weird being me growing up... I had a sine-like oscillation between the badass and the nerd. This variation made me deal with uncommon types of people who despise each other. I am not the type of friend who creates an emotional-friendly-like cloud beside himself. I am the typo of a guy who creates laughter out of his own misery. A Certified Clown is what you may name it.

Actually, since we brought up the "clown" topic, talking realistically, the best description of how it is to be "Tokhy" is the definition of clown.

Formal definitions of the word "Clown" varies from "a foolish or incompetent person." to "a playful, extrovert person." and "A clown is someone who makes people laugh, often in exchange for money." Regardless of its painfulness, I have to agree that this definition can summarize all the shit I wanted to mention in this blogpost to the level I am thinking of terminating this article. My pain and misery bumps from the fact that I am just a pun that makes people laugh or a joke that people exchange to condemn their own misery. You know what, the clown is already depressed and utterly miserable. The only way for the clown to retain some "contentment" is to be his own clown. Thus, the clown will now halt this blubbing and wind up this sobbing and go patch up some of the blogposts I wrote but never finished or the ones I never wrote.

The Clown retires and gets ready for some rugged and poorly-wrote stuff.

Hi! I Hate You

This is a message that applies to each of you. It is applicable to anyone whom I knew. You are a giant fucking pig. I know it is absurd to curse a person you probably do not think of, but for this exact situation, it is weirdly precise. Hating every person you ever met does not exactly means I solely hate them. The fact is that I am not an initiator, I, therefore, tries not to push a person for my liking, but I pleasure him in sexual and non-sexual ways. Primarily jokes, though (Those incorporate the sex). However, these methods do not work. After doing extremely nonsense research, I concluded that nothing really matters and the only way to reverse this type of toxic life is to be present with people you want not to hate. Nevertheless, this method sucks, and I do not like it, therefore back to the beginning, fuck you.

You Know When You Forget To Complete

Like the title, I have always started things without the will to carry on and complete them. Throughout school, I learned different topics not due to my thirst for information but just because they were available. I did not feel any special sensations knowing this huge amount of varied stuff, but filling up the mind with endless shitload of knowledge gives you trillions of variables that control each of your future decision. Thus, I take the easy way but not thinking at all and 'skip'.

This is maybe the reason behind my continuous need for stimulants to preoccupy myself. This is the reason behind my laziness and lack of passion for going in deep into a topic. It can be the reason I am not good in relationships. It might be what caused my socially obnoxious character. This is why I have never written a long story or finished any of my books, or became some type of prodigy. It is not the lack of capacity or intellect; it is a lack of ardor and devotion.

At least this one is completed. (It ironically ended up as a patched shirt)

Epiloxygen

Now with this weird collection of random writings, I guess the Clown had fun. Let's wish him a happy birthday and a nearby perishing.