Tokhy's Blog

Who Are You?

- Hi! My name is Lina, what about you?

= I go by Tokhy

- That's cool! I love reading and do yoga occasionally. What about you?

= If you're asking about hobbies, I don't have any. While this looks absurd, but that's the unfortunate reality. I actually liked multiple various things and did them every now and then. I also love watching football (Or soccer, you American ... I guess this is a shitty enough curse). I love watching Real Madrid and Arsenal and liked the dopamine shots I get when we achieve something. But, as in football, every shit comes to a pause. Arsenal sucked the life out of me in the latest decade. Hobbies that I liked one day got repetitive and thus boring. I can't call something that I do while bored a hobby. I loved arts, reading, watching movies, using social media, masturbation, and numerous music genres. But this did not hold well. Out of nowhere, when I got into the "boredom phase" of the hobby, I just kill it. I end the living pieces of passion I had and either look for an alternative to fill the void in the form of a person or an activity or fill it with severe depression augmented with anxiety. This was highly repetitive to the level that I thought the "norm" is to be depressed, and activities come to fill some gaps between depression phases. Depression really fucks me up ALOT. I try to cope with depression using nicotine and social activities but both are becoming more dangerous. I really can not recognize who I am. If I told you about myself right now, I would be lying. I am not the same person. We share almost no interests. We have no common shit. His future dreams are different from mine. Even his fetishes are different. Will you consider the real me the current dominant or former submissive? I may claim that I am both, but that will be considered lying in my eyes. I change, and not the "life development" kind of change, I renew my whole skin, and you will be unable to recognize me. So asking me, "Who are you?" does not imply whether you want to know the current Tokhy or the old one. You may even just want to see the version that most suits you. It is there. Each of you will have a version of "Tokhy" that suits him. However, it may differ from who I am today. It is absolutely different from who I was yesterday. It will be distant from the person you will see tomorrow. So, which version do you want?

- Bro, chill, I just want sex. Wanna hang out?


Posted at Wed, 02 Jun. 2021 - 03:40:23 AM

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